Your words have power, choose them wisely
As a writer I have more than a passing interest in words. Using and manipulating words is how I make my living and have for many years. It’s truly a God-given gift, in that it has always come easily to me and it’s something I enjoy.
From the work I’ve done over the past two decades in the areas of personal development and human performance, I have learned how powerful the words we tell ourselves are, in relation to what success we achieve, what we accomplish, and our overall happiness.
If you listen to most people in everyday conversation you’ll hear them make limiting and dis-empowering statements about themselves time after time.
For example, if you’re talking to someone who is over 50 years old, and they momentarily forget something, chances are they’re going to say, “I can’t remember such and such, I’m having a “senior moment.”
The problem is that this then becomes an affirmation, albeit negative, they keep telling themselves and, as like attracts like, they begin to forget more and more of the time.
The other day I was having breakfast with my friend and mastermind partner Art (Ski) Swiatkowski. I was telling a story and I couldn’t think of the name of the person I was trying to remember. Rather than say “I can’t remember,” I said, “I forgot the person’s name for a moment, but it will be back in a few seconds,” or something to that effect.
I just changed what I choose to say about it. Saying “I can’t remember” is a very limiting statement. It’s better to just leave it alone and say, “The name escapes me at the moment, but it will be back in a few seconds.”
So what happened? Within two or three seconds I remembered the name. I’ve been using the self-talk statement, “(name) slips my mind at the moment but it will be back in a few seconds,” and it’s worked continually since I began.
We are a product of our own thoughts and our own words and the things that we say and do.
“It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you are not” – Denis Waitley
Learn to catch yourself. Pay attention to what you’re saying.
Success Activity
Think about something that you’re struggling with. It may be something in your personal life. It could be work. It could be money. It could be your relationships. It could be your health. It could be almost anything.
Thinking about whatever it is that you are having a challenge with right now, ask yourself the following questions, and write down your answers:
- What is the story you tell yourself about this?
- Is it a fact?
- What if you made up a new story?
Many times the obstacles in our life are being held there and supported by the story we’ve been telling ourselves about the situation. we can’t do such and such because of so and so, and the like.
When we change the story, we change the outcome
Start telling yourself a new, empowering story. One that will create the outcome you desire.
The power of questions cannot be over-emphasized. It is something I have written about and talked about continuously for more than twenty years because it is such a powerful tool.
Being someone who works with words continually and having taken advanced coach training, I’ve become really good at framing powerful questions.
Learning how to develop powerful questions that will elicit a different response and help you or another person see opportunities that they didn’t see before is a skill worth developing.
Get in the habit of using words to your advantage. Don’t just babble on about things because somebody told you something.
Pay attention to the things you say repeatedly. Really drill into your self-talk and the beliefs that are getting in your way and make a commitment to do something to change them.
We’ll go into self-talk and interpersonal communications in more detail in another post but, for now, please complete the “Success Activity” above and begin paying attention to what you tell yourself on a regular basis.
And please share this with your network and friends.
Thank you.